I frequently sit for 2 big, adorable Rottweilers named Dalton and Shiloh. Last night, I woke up at 3 in the morning and decided to check my email on my iPhone. The battery was dead, so I took the phone into the garage to plug it into my car charger. The door shut behind me. Crap! I was locked out! I tried to think of everything I could do. I went around the back and the only way in was the dog door. Unfortunately, there was a 5 ft. wrought iron fence surrounding the patio. I went back into the garage, got a ladder and drug it to the back yard. (Note: Someone was looking out for me because I was A. Not nude and B. There were no lights on for the neighbors to watch the spectacle.) I climbed up the ladder and had to jump down onto the patio. I tried to put my head and shoulders into the doggie door and couldn't get through. Double crap! I decided to try a different tack and start feet first. I put my legs in and inched my way into the opening. (The dogs were having a wonderful time. They thought it was some sort of game.) Anyway, I crept my way in and then got to my ginormous boobs and had to squish them through -- one at a time. Kinda like loaves of raw Bridgeford bread dough. I finally made it all the way through -- to the dogs' delight!
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